A positive socialization means promoting a social interaction inspired by positive values such as trust and respect through education instead of punishment. A positive socialization also means letting the problems come out themselves instead of inculpating and incriminating someone elses.
But that doesn’t imply that bullying, harassment and violence are justified as a “game” or as a “caper“.
Violence is always something to condemn and eradicate by anyone, anytime, anywhere.
That is is the only approach possible and worth teaching, both in schools and in families. Bullying is not a normal part of life; nothing can be tolerated that nobody should tolerate. No possibility, no room for bullying should be allowed.
Both schools and families must raise such awareness against bullying in order to shape and reshape tomorrow’s citizens.
The seeds to strengthen the new generations require a favorable ground that must be fueled by trust and self-esteem together with social competencies.
The more bullying is known the less the fear to speak out the greater the courage to stand up to it.

Fighting bullying is more than a moral imperative or a “teens’ issue”.

Fighting bullying and raising awareness about the necessity of “no more bullying” mean setting measurable targets and checking on them regularly.

Without targets nothing gests measured and nothing changes.

And it’s also necessary to go one step further by convincing the young that violence is never the right path.

Anti-bullying initiatives and campaigns can only deliver results if they are systematically delivered throughout the school and the online communities where teens and tweens live their sparetime.
“No more bullying” means creating a sense of justice and guard against discriminations, unconscious or not, in order to help the victims up both those who speak out and those who remain silent and almost invisible.
And then a cultural change must be fueled.
The rewards – a more ethical society and a bully-free world – are worth it.
The power to change and to keep moving forward lies in our hands.

No more bullying is up to us.

The post No More Bullying appeared first on Mobbible.

How to stop bullying through dialogue?

When it comes to bullying, it’s crucial for parents and teachers to know what to ask their children, how to talk with them, which words to use.

As for what to ask, teachers must gather all the elements needed to get the big picture and immediately make an overall evaluation of the situation at a glance.

In order to do that, they have to listen carefully to their children’s stories without showing anger or anxiety. They have to suggest, whisper, not impose in order to restore the relationship.

They must be coaches, not masters nor judges. They must rather be like strategists.

Indeed they have to look after their children and, at the same time, envision consequences of any action. They have to set up a real and accurate strategy in order to put in place the needed actions to block or remove their children’s accounts from a blog or a social network, to cancel their photo taken online, to stop provocative messages or cyberattacks.

On the other side, parents and teachers must contact or go on involving other parents in order to engage the entire community so that the problem gets shared and all the possible solutions are openly discussed and translated in actionable tips.

Every viable option must be assessed in order to stop the violence and any attempt to make disclosure about it must be encouraged.

Thus silence strengthens the abuse and those who stay silent collude with the abusers.

So, before denouncing the bullying cases to the police, bullying events would rather be shared across the communities in order to raise awareness among people and also point out the correct behaviours.

It’s also important not to blame anyone for being victim or doing nothing to defend himself or herself and stop the violence.

As for how to talk, in every situation it’s always necessary to create an atmosphere of security, calm, understanding, comprehension and fear restraint.

Then, words follow.

Dialogue cannot be one way. It’d rather be a continuous process that should be promoted early from within the family and never interrupted.

Parents must listen to their children more than once and must know perfectly when it’s time to ask for someone else’s help because of the seriousness of the events.

Expecially in cyberbullying, the risk is the loss of control due to the exasperation of violence through repeated online attacks which make the evil chain have an exponential virality and ferocity.

Cyberbullying is always an out of control phenomenon whose boundaries are difficult to define and circumscribe. So it’s extremely crucial to intervene immediately. Indeed, its perverse cycle is much heavier than bullying.

Anonymity, pervasivity and difficulty of traceability make cyberbullying more threatful than traditional bullying.

as explained in our latest post. The main characteristic is the climax of violence that becomes progressively but rapidly persecution by means of intentional and systematic online attacks once the victim is connected.

The persecution is also strengthened by a supposed online anonymity, by the absence of every physical contact and by the larger visibility and resonance towards an enormous number of potential visitors, viewers and bystanders.

So, what happens online finds less obstacles, smaller resistances and hesitations and fewer brakes than in the offline.

The violence runs through the digital devices and rises up until no perception and no awareness of the consequences of such bad behaviours remain.

The loss of the awareness of evil is the worst side of violence. As persecutors gain momentum in violence, they progressively loose control until they loose every sense of guilt.

Thus the more the physical distance between persecutor and victim, the weaker the perception of the relationship between action and consequences, the less the perceived responsibility for causing suffering to the victims.

And that is always the tragic epilogue of the violence.

The post How To Stop Bullying Through Dialogue appeared first on Mobbible.

Don’t Stay Oblivious to Cyberbullying!

That should be a moral imperative for each of us in order to raise awareness and start a dialogue with those who are silent victims of cyberbullying.

There are neither rules nor best practices to learn and follow when it comes to cyberbullying. Only those who directly or indirectly experience it, know what it means.

Anyone, anywhere, anytime may become victim of online bullying.

Information sharing over the internet is so effortlessly interwoven with daily life that connectivity is anywhere and anytime, and so online bullying is.

According to a new survey conducted by the Pew Research Center, fully 73% of adult internet users have seen someone to be harassed online and 40% have personally experienced it.

Thus, four-in-ten internet users are victims of online harassment as target of at least one of the following behaviours:

• 27% have been called offensive names
• 22% have had someone try to purposefully embarrass them
• 8% have been physically threatened
• 7% have been harassed for a long period
• 6% have been sexually harassed.

Cyberbullying as well as bullying remains a social plague that cannot be estinguish, ingrained as it is in our human nature.

The internet in only a place where evil of human nature can spread its contagion and go viral.

No boundaries apply to human nature, no rules can restrict it, no one has the power to prevent the spiral of evil from within but everyone should be called to do something as main stakeholder of societal wellbeing.

All humans may become victims, and everyone may witness as a bystander as in the picture below.

Young people are particularly likely to witness all types of online harassment.

Somewhere, there are some of our brothers and sisters who precisely now need our help.

In all circumstances, knowing how to react to bullying and how to stop the abuse can help someone else or reduce someone else’s pain.

Don’t Stay Oblivious to Cyberbullying!

But nobody should conceive online bullying simply as a generic “homo homini lupus” principle because when it comes to bullying, differently from any other fight, there is always only one wolf or there are some wolves attacking someone who is not a wolf being by far the least helpless and vulnerable creature with an enormous power imbalance compared with the wolves harassing him.

Of those who have been harassed online, 55% (22% of all internet users) have experienced the less severe forms while the rest (18% of all internet users) have fallen victim to any of the more severe kinds of harassment.

Half the times the identity of perpetrators is unknown. That fact enhances the difficulty of any help to victims.

And the victim has often no idea about how he or she can stop the violence.

A large proportion (60%) of those who have experienced it ignored the violence whereas 40% took actions to contrast it by changing username, deleting their own profile, unfriending or blocking the bully, reporting to the website, discussing the incident online or withdrawn from an online forum. Only 5% reported law enforcement while a larger part (47%) confronted the person online.

Online incidents have always an emotional impact, no matter the severity, the kind of harassment and the type of response or action needed to face them.

Any harassment can be very or extremely upsetting and it is side effects may be long lasting and may severely impact reputation.

Institutions, organizations, schools and parents, all together, can do a lot to raise awareness and help victims to overcome the worst consequences.

Institutions, organizations, businesses and any other social partner have an indirect responsibility to promote lawful conducts and reinforce the dissemination of positive values, not only in the offline but also in the online.

Parents, families and teachers have the immediate and direct responsibility towards their children which is enabled only by an ongoing dialogue expecially when children are teens or tweens.

Dialogue doesn’t mean to find a certain solution or the right key to a problem. And it also doesn’t mean the absence of conflict in every case. The real meaning of dialogue is to have an immediate interest and to pay immediate attention to something that cannot be faced alone, even if it would mean dealing with an eventual conflict in order to help someone in difficulty.

Dialogue means not to stay oblivious to cyberbullying.

Dialogue doesn’t really exclude any conflict but it’s a necessary condition to unleash empathy and show promptness to address problems at their first appearance.

Dialogue also means supervision, listening, care, attention, love. It means to have a great sensibility and acumen to perceive, to notice and to realize even alarm bells which are only early signals when something is heavy going down.

Dialogue always begins with listening and goes on with sharing. By listening and sharing it also progressively enables the relationship.

No relationship is possible without dialogue. And that is extremely true within the family and at school.

Refuse staying oblivious to cyberbullying, start a dialogue now with those in need.

The post Don’t Stay Oblivious To Cyberbullying appeared first on Mobbible.

Even if anonymity is true only in appearance, since digital footprints cannot be removed, all the above mentioned characteristics are the reasons why bullies persist on their bullying behaviours and don’t stop.

Basically they ignore both risks and consequences of their bullying behaviours and the fact that their conducts could be prosecutable.

By the way, the only certainty of cyberbullying is to have no certainty. On the contrary, traditional bullying happens predictably. Bullying has a specific bully; bullying is caused by a person or a group in the flesh.

Bullying exists in specific delimited spaces and it also happens in limited moments, as during lessons at schools or during sport training or in a public space every time the victim faces the bully.

Space as well as time is a certainty in bullying.

Bullying is an absolutely temporary event in the ordinary life, while its effects, expecially the psychological ones, are painfully permanent, as the bullying experience becomes crushing and devasting.

Due to its intrinsic predictability, every bullying event should be anticipated, foreseeable and preventable if only victims could stop silence.

Conversely, cyberbullying is totally permanent. It may happen at any time, in every single instant, whatever the moment of the online life.

Whatever the web access, as soon as the online connection works, cyberbullying enlivens its ghost.

Cyberbullying is never a temporary event of the online life: cyberbullying is an absolutely permanent event of the online life.

Being a victim of cyberbullying represents a continuous and lasting stigma in the online life.

Moreover, victimisation gets unstoppable as persistingn online bullying behaviors amplify the harassment itself through the web, thus resulting in a never ending online persecution.

And the stronger the bully, the weaker the victim, the heavier the victimisation.

Thus, the absence of any viable exit makes cyberbullying worse than bullying.

Whatever the means, either flaming or instant messaging, either impersonation or trickery, either exposure or cyberstalking, such permanent harassment provokes the same feelings and the same consequences over the victims, which are power imbalance, fear, isolation, and loss of esteem. Thus, silence prevails and wins.

Whatever the country, whatever the legislation, no matter the number of occurrences, it has become necessary to do something to stop such cycle of violence.

Several campaigns, protocols and agreements, shared among web platforms and social networks, have been disseminated through the web, resulting in a more raised awareness. They’ve also ruled behaviors and conducts both online and offline in order to possibly prevent and sanction bullies’ actions.

Nevertheless, there’s plenty of work still to come in order to help and assist victims in overcoming the lasting effects that the devastating tsunami of bullying is having on themselves from within.

Since bullying and cyberbullying let a stigma that cannot be ever completely removed.

To the loving memory of my father

The post Cyberbullying and Bullying: Why They Make Life Unliveable appeared first on Mobbible.

No specific law has been issued in Italy at the moment but the already existing laws (Constitution of The Italian Republic, part one Rights and Duties of the Citizens, The Civil Code, The Penal Code) represent an almost complete regulatory mechanism able to prevent and punish the most severe behaviours.

Enter Mobbible’s Convivio to see more about legislation in Italy.

Bullying in Italy has become increasingly frequent: bullying events have become ordinary and the number of victims becomes greater and greater. Sometimes bullying is captured in videos downloaded in Youtube by the same people that bystand and do nothing instead of stopping violence.

Bystanders stay silent or incite the bully during the aggression without intervening.

Several studies refer a close correlation between bullying and depression, bullying and suicidal rate. Bullying-related suicides have soared last year since the number of bad stories and bad behaviours increased, altough institutions, schools and the Police raised awareness through several anti-bullying campaigns.

Victims are always those who can’t defend themselves or who don’t want to collude with bullies as depicted in our latest post “Why Bullying Victims Portrait Is Always the Same“.

Morever, 80% of bullying in Italy happens at schools. Threats, physical violence, name-calling, embarrassment, thefts, mockeries, all these behaviours happen at schools and have as victims people who are the weakiest or the most defenceless of the group.

The ghost of bullying haunts every school and every community.

The shadow of bullying lengthens through the web, by means of cyberbullying, online harassment, compromising photos or false data sharing and other psychological tortures as explained in this post about bullying and cyberbullying in Italy by Metron Antropos NPO.

The tweens and the young tend to escape parental control and monitoring, they go away and take dangerous shortcuts, with less and less brakes, and no positive role models to imitate.

Sport can do a lot in order to make any negative energy turn in healthier ways, in some positive experience, or hopefully in a safe way out.

Other forms of intervention tend to build, enhance and strenghten learning, training or education at schools in order to change culture and habits.

In a recent survey,  Skuola.net found that 4-in-5 consider bullying and cyberbullying an ordinary and severe occurrence, while up to 40% of them has witnessed to at least one severe physical or psychological bullying event.

As for cyberbullying, 90% believe that the web is exactly the mirror of what happens offline, in the real life, and sometimes the second is the origin of the first.

The most controversial social network is Ask.fm, taken for granted the resonance of recent severe cyberbullying facts and stories, strictly connected to this networking platform mentioned by 3-in-4 students because of its anonymity and ease to use.

One-in-four admit having been themselves guilty of cyberbully, threatening or victimising one or more friends, while 6% refer having been a systematic cyberbully.

Up to 31% is always connected to social networks, by means of smartphones, tablets, PCs, and 27% has met offline at least someone known online.

Of those, 23% did it by themselves, without informing anyone else, whereas 35% informed their parents or friends.

The web is also used by tweens in order to make new friends: 13% posted photos, video, in a provocative gesture while 17% admitted having done it for money, phone top-ups or other presents.

These are the findings of a survey over 2000 voters aged 11-20 managed by Skuola.net together with Postal Office Policy before launching “Una Vita da Social” campaign.

Time spent over social networks is basically due to their obsession in controlling their own social profiles, or in making new friends or gaining money.

Of those who are always connected online, 45% use social networks because they can save money for phone calls, while 42% repeteadly use them to make new friends.

Only 14% stay online to gain more popularity.

53% of interviewed use Facebook to communicate with their parents. 1-in-5 consider Facebook their main social network and media and 56% believe it’s very useful even if it’s not used to replace phone calls and sparetime with friends.

What is worrying is that 13% of young used at least one social network to send their photo or video for sexting.

The reason is that 17% received the promise of a phone recharge or other presents.

They are totally unware of risks, one-in-four admits having met someone online and of those 23% did it without informing others.

As for cyberbullying, 52,5% declared an excessive attention to it, able to make them feel guilty and overexposed to judgement instead of understanding and dialogue.

And the problem is that they don’t speak with their parents because they are afraid and don’t want to be judged or think they can’t help them and do nothing.

Relaunching families would be an answer to that problem.

Relaunching families means investing permanently in family and resuming love and dialogue.

.

The post Focus: Bullying in Italy appeared first on Mobbible.

High social acceptance is common among leaders and doers as well as in followers.

High social acceptance is the key to enter a group, to live in a group, to be accepted as a leader or as a whatever member.

Outside the group there are only those who have a low social acceptance.

Thus, having a low social acceptance means being nobody to the group itself.

Those who have a low social acceptance usually haven’t roles even within other groups as well as friends.

That is why a low social acceptance always associates with a low self-esteem. Nobody wants someone who has a low self-esteem as a friend.

No trust can he/she has from anyone, they stay excluded from leadership positions and also kept away from other roles in the group.

People who have a low social acceptance stay alone, apart, avoided, out of every social connection and social life. Moreover, they feel invisible and unwanted and also tend to feel like they are constantly under a spotlight, being watched and criticized by others.

Hostile interactions create an hostile and unhealthy context, thus leading to social exclusion.

Thus, marginalized people fall more often than others in depression and

become victims without doing anything

as explained in a previous article: “School Bullying: Victims at The Centre of A Persecution”.

Victimisation begins as a subtle but ferocious persecutory mechanism jointly performed by bullies and their gregaries.

The context and the environment reinforce the already existing psychological characteristic, which in turn produces more isolation and a chance for more persecution.

Thus, prevention, as well as intervention against bullying, should focus on both a child-centred approach and the wider context where bullying happens by combining personal, social and health education.

Since psychology influences behaviours, the same psychology can result in a powerful leverage to change behaviours and help tweens and teens become more sociable.

Well-developed social interaction skills are critical for developing positive mindset since childhood. And as they get older, they should be learning more advanced social skills

Social skills must be developed together with emotional coping strategies, since the last are most effective if they are taught together with the first ones.

The earlier they can learn to deal with conflicts, the healthier and safer they will live.

The post Social Acceptance May Trigger Bullying appeared first on Mobbible.

Bullying is everywhere and it also hurts anyone.

The same are the mechanisms of persecution; the same the effects on the victim.

And their silence strengthens the abuse.

Vulnerability, fear, shame, unsecurity are what bullying victims feel because of bully’s persistent, neverending abuses and persecutory behaviours.

So, how can you help victims to stand up against bullying?

• First of all, don’t let them alone.
• Then, listen to them even when they aren’t speaking.
• Finally, pay attention to their behaviours.

They may not ask for help, but that doesn’t mean that help isn’t wanted. It is up to you to help them to tell the truth or talk to an adult and ask for help.

Encouraging reporting of bullying means being halfway there.

Bullying victims don’t speak out, don’t stand up against bullying because they are afraid. They are alone. No one supports them, neither their peers for fear of reprisals, nor teacher and parents because both of them often ignore the facts.

New media do not represent a threat, but one of the possible means, just a more formidable place for borderline behaviours to happen, ranging from youth deviance to psychology of groups and bullying.

In a complex and almost unexplored environment, as the internet is, early detection and continuous supervision over kids, tweens and teens are aiming at impeding the worst consequences and unlawful conducts connected to those phenomenons.

But the mechanisms by which youth, expecially teens and tweens, become victims or co-authors of internet-related crimes against someone else, be it stalking, injury, diffamation, cyberbullying or identity theft, have always their origin in the real life, where the youth live, act and move.

So, bullying common places are the schools, the gym, the park or other location where entertainment takes place.

Bullying doesn’t consists in a single act of violence or verbal attack; it’s the repetition of violence against someone else that is bullying.

Bullying happens when the attack from a single offence turns into persecution.

Persecution originates from within the social relationships and the one-to-one interactions, but it also generates severe consequences from the legal side and the psychological one.

Moreover, as persecution persistently goes on, it will cause long-term harmful effects on victims.

Only a few victims ask for help and denounce. The most get blocked by fear.

A very small percentage, as we mentioned in the article “Online Bullying Threats and Facts”:

…. the 2014 survey also found that 24% said that they would not know what to do in the event of cyberbullying (“how about stay away from the bully’s page and block the bully from your page?”).

are aware of such a violence, of its gravity and consequences.

Young victims don’t know how to defend and why it is absolutely necessary.

The fear of reprisals or punishments from their parents or the risk of not receiving from them their beloved promised smartphones foster the silence of young victims, together with the shame and the fear they feel.

 Silence, Shame and Fear Are #Bullying Best Friends. Put an end to them. Put an end to Bullying. — MBevangelist (@Mobbible) 6 Novembre 2014

So we have to convince and help bullying victims to change their  mind, beliefs, attitudes, in order to get it over with shame, fear and silence.

The post Why Bullying Victims Portrait Is Always the Same appeared first on Mobbible.

According to the last annual study of the internet security firm McAfee, examining the online behavior and social networking habits of U.S. preteens and teens, titled “2014 Teens and the Screen study: Exploring Online Privacy, Social Networking, and Cyberbullying”, online bullying have soared over the last year: the 87% of youth polled said they have witnessed cyberbullying, up from 27% last year.

Number of occurrences is going to grow in the short term because of a greater awareness among tweens and teens due to anti-bullying education programs and guidelines deployed by teachers within the schools and the quicker and quicker dissemination of cyber codes and rules through social media.

All the data confirm that the major risk of online behavior among teens and preteens is its impact on their offline lives.

Online behaviours can dramatically damage their identity and their reputation.

As for the reason of cyberbullying, 72% answered it was due to appearance, 26% stated their race or religion was the cause while 22% responded their sexuality. Of those who witnessed cyberbullying, 53% referred the victims became defensive or angry while 47% said the victims removed their social media accounts, underscoring its prevalent emotional impact.

The 2014 survey also found that 24% said that they would not know what to do in the event of cyberbullying (“how about stay away from the bully’s page and block the bully from your page?”). A whopping 87% have witnessed cyberbullying and 26% have been victims themselves.

What about the 2013 and 2012 McAfee survey findings ?

According to 2013 McAfee Digital Deception Study 2013: “Exploring the Online Disconnect between Parents & Pre-teens, Teens and Young Adults“, youth spend more time online than parents realize and  their access becomes more mobile as they age.

Teens are particularly savvy with smartphones and tablets but they face online choices that carry potentially dangerous risks.

The major risks are on their social networks, while their parents are unaware: 92.6% of teens said that Facebook was a playground for bullies but only 9 percent of parents knew the truth from their kids. Only 6 percent of parents thought their kids had been targets, against the 13 percent of kids who responded being targeted.

In 2012, almost one in four of teens claimed to be a target of cyberbullying, two-thirds of all teens had witnessed cruel behavior online but only one in 10 parents were aware their teens were targets of cyberbullying.

When witnessing others being attacked, 40% of teens had told the person to stop, 20.7% had told an adult but 6.3% joined in. When being attacked themselves, 65.8% of teens responded to the attacker (with 35% responding in person).

Some of online conflicts are hashed-out in the real world, where 4.5% of teens have been in a physical fight with an online bully, while about 15% avoided school.

Check out the infographic in the article “Why You Should Talk to Kids About Cyberbullying” published in Mashable to know more details about the online behaviour of teens reported by the above mentioned study.

Long story short, it is necessary to take steps to protect kids from cyberbullying.

In the cyberspace bullies hide and thrive better than in the real life. The greater the anonimity, the greater the silence, the greater the abuse.

Parents can’t let their kids alone with their smartphones, tablets or PCs. They must protect them and listen to them even when they aren’t speaking.

Alarmingly, the  most serious threats are due to two undervalued facts:

• Kids Overshare Personal Information
• Kids Hide Things from their Parents.

These are the reasons why much of the online bullying remains undetected and passes by unnoticed despite the good intentions of parents and peers.

Parents, teachers, guardians and coaches have to pay attention to both real and online behaviours in order to detect and notice possible changes, insecurity or fear signals in them.

To help educate their children and envision a safe digital future for them with the benefits of being online and staying safe, three steps are necessary:

1. parents must connect with them and get social
2. parents must gain access
3. parents need their trust.

So, parents have an active responsibility in encouraging them to report online/offline bullying, to take responsibility for their own safety online and to know where to turn for help when things go wrong.

The post Online Bullying Threats and Facts appeared first on Mobbible.

Families have a central role and a significant weight in preventing bullying or cyberbullying events and victimization.

But to understand that point, it is necessary to re-discover the profound and intrinsic value family has.

Family is the heart of human life, family is the breast, the warmth, it is the most natural and the easiest place where answers and the right path can be found.

Bullying episodes and cyberbullying cases ending with suicides are much more common than ever: even in Italy bullying and cyberbullying have their victims.

While it is not helpful asking to what extent desperation stretches and what kind of mechanism generated abuse, persecution and bullies, nevertheless we cannot accept the absurdity of trunked human lives or broken families, nor can we justify that extreme and dramatic choices. Suspending judgement is due.

However, it is no longer possible to stay indifferent as a spectator.

Being spectator is equal to participate actively to that human life sacrifices. It also means to have neither care nor respect for next generations. While we are working for them and building the foundation of their future we are at the same time contributing to their death. If not physical, emotional and psychological.

So in fighting bullying we must fight the indifference firstly and the fear secondly. Fighting fear and indifference must be perceived as not only an individual commitment but also a collective responsibility.

Bullying is not a personal problem but a pressing and emerging social need.

In coping with such plague everyone can do a great job both in raising awareness and in engaging others to play an active role. Everyone can take part at schools, within sporting clubs, families, peers groups, communities.

Everywhere, everyone can give a personal contribution. Everyone’s commitment is the spark that spreads the necessity to face the emergency.

It is no longer possible to ignore, to let the responsibility pass on others. There are not isolated cases. It is not possible to blame someone else or something else.

No one is guilty. Everyone is guilty. Nor it is even possible to put the blame on how difficult communication is between adults and teens.

Silence is the first problem to fight. The absence of a closer contact, of a sincere and immediate interest and empathy between different generations is always harmful.

Mere surveillance is not enough, nor is it the continuous control over the teens or kids. Such control may be illusory and ineffective, if only relying on inadequate instruments such as inspecting diaries, computers or smartphones. When the awkwardness starts occupying the heart of a child and the perception of being abandoned becomes greater and oppressive, silence reigns and wins.

Monitoring shall not be pursued by means of external tools, but preferably through love and relationship.

But the relationship must be restored or recovered. Once relationship is woken up they have to be reactivated. When the sense of abandoning and the awkwardness become obscure mates of our teens, they follow and overcome them even at home, within the family and become heavier and worse once they enter the social environment.

Group dynamics may be constructive or destructive. Entrance, the acceptance and the permanence into a group are critical components in a critical phase of life as childhood is, they also persist in adulthood and influence the future behavior.

Every group has its rule: there are roles, not written but prescriptive within each group. Once you have a role, you stick to that role. Roles never change. Those who are subjected to them cannot refuse obeying and conforming.

Complacency and fear are the group basic roots and rules. Those rules are unbreakable, the law of the jungle is the law of the strongest. If you don’t respect the rules you will be out of the group. But this golden rule still holds true.

Thus, neither social network nor the web can be incriminated or considered a responsible source of suffering, isolation and a serious menace to our teens or kids.

We cannot demonize the technologies or the virtual places as responsible or root causes of phenomena that occur even in the real places. We should rather invest in someone else’s responsibilities, engagement and commitment.

We should invest in those who can discover, who cannot ignore, who cannot pretend not to know. We should invest in those who are the unique witnesses of their kid’s (or pupils) fears and suffering.

We should invest in those who can stop or prevent the situation from worsening.

We should invest in those who can do a lot but do nothing.

We should invest in families. The youngsters are let alone, more alone than past generations were. More the temptations, more the threats, more the menaces. And the weakest surrender, are excluded, marginalized, discriminated, hated, abused.

Relaunching families means starting from within the problem, but also hitting the bull’s eye.

Relaunching families means investing permanently in families and rebuilding society from the foundation. And then we have to ask ourselves how to restart to be a family how to become parents again, how to be born mother and father, how to recover lost time, how to fill the void, how to break silence and regenerate love feelings and gestures.

We must resume loving. Investing in love means to go on asking for questions each other parent versus kids, kids versus parents.

Restarting from families means restarting from compassion and love. By so doing, we will restart from self confidence, which breaks the fragile bubble of virtual life and illusions of being understood, beloved from people beyond the screen of a PC or the display of a smartphone.

The web is the reign of solitary socialization. Instead of being the place of dialogue, knowledge, connections, it has become the place of solitary people, maybe virtually interconnected but actually disconnected, separate from the real world. There is a viral video - Look Up – which expresses in an effective way such form of isolation, of latent and solitary socialization induced by the social networking.

Being disconnected means to have different languages, different communications styles, different mindsets.

So it’s difficult to intercept the turning point or the breakpoint where something has changed and situation becomes no more tolerable or completely unbearable to youngsters.

When stress created by bullying or cyberbullying translates in pain, suffering, fear, terror, depression, then control is no longer possible and no action can restore the situation.

Only families can intervene early and effectively from within, and can oppose responsible, mature and conscious resistance to bullying, be it real or digital.

The post Why Relaunching Families Means Fighting Bullying From Within appeared first on Mobbible.

So will Mobbible, to raise awareness about bullying.

Here are The 10 Commandments of Mobbible:

1. Show the right way to those who are roving or have lost their way and reached a dead end

2. Light up the lives of those who live in the dark or lie blind

3. Give a voice and hearing to those who have no voice and are mute

4. Bring truth to where the truth is hidden or fiddled

5. Provide means and answers to those who have no means to find or ask

6. Give courage to those who live in a continuous fear having no long desire to go on their own lives

7. Give a sense of drive and direction to those who stand still and unsure

8. Inspire a sense of justice by raising awareness and disseminating knowledge of legislation along with facilitating interpretations of the case law on the subject

9. Inspire confidence in those who have lost hope, self-esteem and faith so that they may save their own lives

10. Promote social engagement, solidarity and social justice against all forms of bullying as cyberbullying, workplace bullying or school bullying, abuse, harassment, violence and discrimination.

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