A positive socialization means promoting a social interaction inspired by positive values such as trust and respect through education instead of punishment. A positive socialization also means letting the problems come out themselves instead of inculpating and incriminating someone elses.
But that doesn’t imply that bullying, harassment and violence are justified as a “game” or as a “caper“.
Violence is always something to condemn and eradicate by anyone, anytime, anywhere.
That is is the only approach possible and worth teaching, both in schools and in families. Bullying is not a normal part of life; nothing can be tolerated that nobody should tolerate. No possibility, no room for bullying should be allowed.
Both schools and families must raise such awareness against bullying in order to shape and reshape tomorrow’s citizens.
The seeds to strengthen the new generations require a favorable ground that must be fueled by trust and self-esteem together with social competencies.
The more bullying is known the less the fear to speak out the greater the courage to stand up to it.

Fighting bullying is more than a moral imperative or a “teens’ issue”.

Fighting bullying and raising awareness about the necessity of “no more bullying” mean setting measurable targets and checking on them regularly.

Without targets nothing gests measured and nothing changes.

And it’s also necessary to go one step further by convincing the young that violence is never the right path.

Anti-bullying initiatives and campaigns can only deliver results if they are systematically delivered throughout the school and the online communities where teens and tweens live their sparetime.
“No more bullying” means creating a sense of justice and guard against discriminations, unconscious or not, in order to help the victims up both those who speak out and those who remain silent and almost invisible.
And then a cultural change must be fueled.
The rewards – a more ethical society and a bully-free world – are worth it.
The power to change and to keep moving forward lies in our hands.

No more bullying is up to us.

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High social acceptance is common among leaders and doers as well as in followers.

High social acceptance is the key to enter a group, to live in a group, to be accepted as a leader or as a whatever member.

Outside the group there are only those who have a low social acceptance.

Thus, having a low social acceptance means being nobody to the group itself.

Those who have a low social acceptance usually haven’t roles even within other groups as well as friends.

That is why a low social acceptance always associates with a low self-esteem. Nobody wants someone who has a low self-esteem as a friend.

No trust can he/she has from anyone, they stay excluded from leadership positions and also kept away from other roles in the group.

People who have a low social acceptance stay alone, apart, avoided, out of every social connection and social life. Moreover, they feel invisible and unwanted and also tend to feel like they are constantly under a spotlight, being watched and criticized by others.

Hostile interactions create an hostile and unhealthy context, thus leading to social exclusion.

Thus, marginalized people fall more often than others in depression and

become victims without doing anything

as explained in a previous article: “School Bullying: Victims at The Centre of A Persecution”.

Victimisation begins as a subtle but ferocious persecutory mechanism jointly performed by bullies and their gregaries.

The context and the environment reinforce the already existing psychological characteristic, which in turn produces more isolation and a chance for more persecution.

Thus, prevention, as well as intervention against bullying, should focus on both a child-centred approach and the wider context where bullying happens by combining personal, social and health education.

Since psychology influences behaviours, the same psychology can result in a powerful leverage to change behaviours and help tweens and teens become more sociable.

Well-developed social interaction skills are critical for developing positive mindset since childhood. And as they get older, they should be learning more advanced social skills

Social skills must be developed together with emotional coping strategies, since the last are most effective if they are taught together with the first ones.

The earlier they can learn to deal with conflicts, the healthier and safer they will live.

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Bullying is everywhere and it also hurts anyone.

The same are the mechanisms of persecution; the same the effects on the victim.

And their silence strengthens the abuse.

Vulnerability, fear, shame, unsecurity are what bullying victims feel because of bully’s persistent, neverending abuses and persecutory behaviours.

So, how can you help victims to stand up against bullying?

• First of all, don’t let them alone.
• Then, listen to them even when they aren’t speaking.
• Finally, pay attention to their behaviours.

They may not ask for help, but that doesn’t mean that help isn’t wanted. It is up to you to help them to tell the truth or talk to an adult and ask for help.

Encouraging reporting of bullying means being halfway there.

Bullying victims don’t speak out, don’t stand up against bullying because they are afraid. They are alone. No one supports them, neither their peers for fear of reprisals, nor teacher and parents because both of them often ignore the facts.

New media do not represent a threat, but one of the possible means, just a more formidable place for borderline behaviours to happen, ranging from youth deviance to psychology of groups and bullying.

In a complex and almost unexplored environment, as the internet is, early detection and continuous supervision over kids, tweens and teens are aiming at impeding the worst consequences and unlawful conducts connected to those phenomenons.

But the mechanisms by which youth, expecially teens and tweens, become victims or co-authors of internet-related crimes against someone else, be it stalking, injury, diffamation, cyberbullying or identity theft, have always their origin in the real life, where the youth live, act and move.

So, bullying common places are the schools, the gym, the park or other location where entertainment takes place.

Bullying doesn’t consists in a single act of violence or verbal attack; it’s the repetition of violence against someone else that is bullying.

Bullying happens when the attack from a single offence turns into persecution.

Persecution originates from within the social relationships and the one-to-one interactions, but it also generates severe consequences from the legal side and the psychological one.

Moreover, as persecution persistently goes on, it will cause long-term harmful effects on victims.

Only a few victims ask for help and denounce. The most get blocked by fear.

A very small percentage, as we mentioned in the article “Online Bullying Threats and Facts”:

…. the 2014 survey also found that 24% said that they would not know what to do in the event of cyberbullying (“how about stay away from the bully’s page and block the bully from your page?”).

are aware of such a violence, of its gravity and consequences.

Young victims don’t know how to defend and why it is absolutely necessary.

The fear of reprisals or punishments from their parents or the risk of not receiving from them their beloved promised smartphones foster the silence of young victims, together with the shame and the fear they feel.

 Silence, Shame and Fear Are #Bullying Best Friends. Put an end to them. Put an end to Bullying. — MBevangelist (@Mobbible) 6 Novembre 2014

So we have to convince and help bullying victims to change their  mind, beliefs, attitudes, in order to get it over with shame, fear and silence.

The post Why Bullying Victims Portrait Is Always the Same appeared first on Mobbible.

According to the last annual study of the internet security firm McAfee, examining the online behavior and social networking habits of U.S. preteens and teens, titled “2014 Teens and the Screen study: Exploring Online Privacy, Social Networking, and Cyberbullying”, online bullying have soared over the last year: the 87% of youth polled said they have witnessed cyberbullying, up from 27% last year.

Number of occurrences is going to grow in the short term because of a greater awareness among tweens and teens due to anti-bullying education programs and guidelines deployed by teachers within the schools and the quicker and quicker dissemination of cyber codes and rules through social media.

All the data confirm that the major risk of online behavior among teens and preteens is its impact on their offline lives.

Online behaviours can dramatically damage their identity and their reputation.

As for the reason of cyberbullying, 72% answered it was due to appearance, 26% stated their race or religion was the cause while 22% responded their sexuality. Of those who witnessed cyberbullying, 53% referred the victims became defensive or angry while 47% said the victims removed their social media accounts, underscoring its prevalent emotional impact.

The 2014 survey also found that 24% said that they would not know what to do in the event of cyberbullying (“how about stay away from the bully’s page and block the bully from your page?”). A whopping 87% have witnessed cyberbullying and 26% have been victims themselves.

What about the 2013 and 2012 McAfee survey findings ?

According to 2013 McAfee Digital Deception Study 2013: “Exploring the Online Disconnect between Parents & Pre-teens, Teens and Young Adults“, youth spend more time online than parents realize and  their access becomes more mobile as they age.

Teens are particularly savvy with smartphones and tablets but they face online choices that carry potentially dangerous risks.

The major risks are on their social networks, while their parents are unaware: 92.6% of teens said that Facebook was a playground for bullies but only 9 percent of parents knew the truth from their kids. Only 6 percent of parents thought their kids had been targets, against the 13 percent of kids who responded being targeted.

In 2012, almost one in four of teens claimed to be a target of cyberbullying, two-thirds of all teens had witnessed cruel behavior online but only one in 10 parents were aware their teens were targets of cyberbullying.

When witnessing others being attacked, 40% of teens had told the person to stop, 20.7% had told an adult but 6.3% joined in. When being attacked themselves, 65.8% of teens responded to the attacker (with 35% responding in person).

Some of online conflicts are hashed-out in the real world, where 4.5% of teens have been in a physical fight with an online bully, while about 15% avoided school.

Check out the infographic in the article “Why You Should Talk to Kids About Cyberbullying” published in Mashable to know more details about the online behaviour of teens reported by the above mentioned study.

Long story short, it is necessary to take steps to protect kids from cyberbullying.

In the cyberspace bullies hide and thrive better than in the real life. The greater the anonimity, the greater the silence, the greater the abuse.

Parents can’t let their kids alone with their smartphones, tablets or PCs. They must protect them and listen to them even when they aren’t speaking.

Alarmingly, the  most serious threats are due to two undervalued facts:

• Kids Overshare Personal Information
• Kids Hide Things from their Parents.

These are the reasons why much of the online bullying remains undetected and passes by unnoticed despite the good intentions of parents and peers.

Parents, teachers, guardians and coaches have to pay attention to both real and online behaviours in order to detect and notice possible changes, insecurity or fear signals in them.

To help educate their children and envision a safe digital future for them with the benefits of being online and staying safe, three steps are necessary:

1. parents must connect with them and get social
2. parents must gain access
3. parents need their trust.

So, parents have an active responsibility in encouraging them to report online/offline bullying, to take responsibility for their own safety online and to know where to turn for help when things go wrong.

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